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Hope and Healing: Supplications for a Loved One Who Passed Away | Blog
When a loved one passes away our priority should be to pray for them. Why is that so? What are the best duas to make for a deceased Muslim that we love?
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Published: August 8, 2024 •Safar 4, 1446
Updated: September 6, 2024 •Rabi al-Awwal 3, 1446
Read time: 9 min
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Perhaps the most difficult challenge any of us are likely to face is the passing of a loved one. After a loved one passes away, it is natural to be overcome with feelings of sorrow, and for some, even a general sense of hopelessness and despair. While we acknowledge our grief as our own Prophet ﷺ did—losing his uncle Abu Talib, his beloved wife Khadija, and all of his children except for Fatima (rA)—we can take solace in our duty to supplicate for our loved ones. Indeed, our supplications for them after they pass away can directly affect their standing in the next life.
Abu Huraira (rA) narrated that “The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said “Verily, Allah Almighty will raise the status of his righteous servant in paradise, and he will say ‘O Lord, what is this?’ Allah will say, ‘This is (due to) your child seeking forgiveness for you.’” (Musnad Aḥmad, no. 10610).
As such, our connection with our loved ones is so profound that we can continue to increase their status even after they begin their journey to the next life. Moreover, not only can we raise their station, but they will be informed that this elevation is due to your supplications for them. This makes your supplications not just a means of solace for yourself, and aid for them, but also a means of continued communication between you and your loved ones.
Interestingly, in this narration, the son did not request elevation for his father, but only prayed for his forgiveness. This suggests a special power to istighfar (seeking forgiveness). The connection between seeking forgiveness and elevation in one’s rank is that forgiveness is not only sought for sins we can recall. This can also be seen in the Prophetic tradition of saying “astaghfirullah” (I seek forgiveness from Allah) three times after every prayer. Indeed, seeking forgiveness is so important, that almost every supplication we cover here begins with seeking forgiveness.
It can be easy to presume that our loved ones are perfect and sin-free, especially when we hold them in high regard. It is crucial though to always seek forgiveness even for our own sins we are not aware of, and the truth is that we never know all the shortcomings of others. As a rule, we should never presume a person’s standing with Allah and should accept that “every descendant of Adam is a sinner” (Sunan al-Tirmidhi, no. 2499).
However, this must also be balanced with maintaining a good opinion of Allah (husn al-dhann), who “is the Most-Merciful, Most-Forgiving” (Qur’an 49:5). In his collection of Sahih Prophetic narrations, Al-Bukhari opens the Chapter on Funeral Prayers with the narration of Abu Dharr (rA) that the Prophet ﷺ said “Whoever says ‘There is no God but Allah,’ (La ilaha illa Allah) will enter jannah.” Abu Dharr says, “Even if he committed adultery and stole?” The Prophet ﷺ responds, “Even if he committed adultery and stole” (Ṣaḥīḥ al-Bukhārī, no. 1237).
Here, Imam Al-Bukhari demonstrates his wisdom by starting this chapter with a narration that reminds us to maintain a positive opinion (husn al-dhann) of Allah. This is not meant to belittle the sin of adultery and theft, but rather to emphasize our strong belief in the power of sincere supplications and Allah’s promise that He will always meet us with mercy and forgiveness.
Du’a for a parent who has passed away
Abu Usayd said, "We were with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ when a man asked, 'Messenger of Allah, is there any act of dutifulness which I can do for my parents after their death?' He replied, 'Yes, there are four things: Supplication for them, asking forgiveness for them, fulfilling their pledges, and being generous to friends of theirs. You only have ties of kinship through your parents." (Al-Adab Al-Mufrad, no. 35, Da’eef)
Based on the Prophet’s Noah’s dua to Allah (71:28) you can say ‘O Allah, forgive me and my parents.”
رَّبِّ ٱغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَٰلِدَىَّ
However, this can also be combined with another du’a from the Qur’an. After commanding us to honor our parents and never say “uff” to them, Allah commands us to pray for them with the following formulation,
وَٱخْفِضْ لَهُمَا جَنَاحَ ٱلذُّلِّ مِنَ ٱلرَّحْمَةِ وَقُل رَّبِّ ٱرْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرًۭا
“And be humble with them out of mercy, and pray, “My Lord! Have mercy on them as they raised me when I was young.” (Qur’an 17:24)
As such, to pray for both of our deceased parents, and help them to enter Jannah, inshAllah, we can say:
رَّبِّ ٱغْفِرْ لِي وَلِوَٰلِدَىَّ وارْحَمْهُمَا كَمَا رَبَّيَانِى صَغِيرا
To change the formulation to pray for just your father, you can say,
Rabbi ighfir li wa li-waalidi wa-irhamhu kama rabbani saghira
Whereas, to pray for just your mother, you can say the following,
Rabbi ighfir li wa li-waalidati wa-irhamha kama rabbatni saghira
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Du’a for a deceased Muslim
The following supplication is one of the most famous formulations for the deceased and is the one you are most likely to hear when you go to the graveyard. You can say it in the janaza prayer after the third takbir, you can say it at the graveyard, and you can continue to repeat it afterwards, especially in the immediate term after death.
Awf ibn Malik (rA) narrated: I heard the Prophet ﷺ say on the occasion of the death of one of the companions,
اللَّهُمَّ أغْفِر لَهُ وَارْحَمْهُ وعَافِهِ وَاعْفُ عَنْهُ وَأَكْرِم نُزُلَهُ وَوَسَّعْ مُدْخَلَهُ وَاغْسِلْهُ بِالماءِ والثَلْجِ والبَرَدِ ونقِّهِ من الخَطايا كما يُنَقّى الثوبُ الأَبْيَضُ من الدَّنَسِ
In some of the Prophet’s ﷺ other supplications, we see that he directly mentions and invokes Allah Almighty’s mercy. In our supplications we should mention Allah’s attributes as much as possible, for the Almighty tell us to do so. He says, “To Allah belong the Most Beautiful Names, so call upon Him by them…” (Qur’an 7:180). One beautiful formulation that can be said at the grave and that directly invokes Allah’s mercy is:
اللَّهُمَّ عَبْدُكَ وَابْنُ أَمَتِكَ احتَاجَ إِلى رَحْمَتِكَ وأَنْتَ غَنيُّ عَنْ عَذابِهِ, إِنْ كَانَ مُحْسِنا فَزِدْ في حَسَناتِهِ وإنْ كَانَ مُسِيئا فتَجَاوَزْ عَنْهُ
Another beneficial supplication that can be said for both the deceased and the living is:
اللَّهمَّ اغْفِرْ لِحَيِّنَا وَمَيِّتِنَا وَشَاهِدِنَا، وَغَائِبِنَا، وَصَغِيْرِنَا وَكَبِيْرِنَا، وَذَكَرِنَا وَأُنْثَانَا. اللَّهمَّ مَنْ أَحْيَيْتَه ُُ مِنَّا فَأَحْيِه ِِ عَلَى الإِسْلامِ، وَمَنْ تَوَفَّيْتَه ُُ مِنَّا فَتَوَفَّه ُُ عَلَى الإِيْمَانِ، اللَّهمَّ لا تَحْرِمْنَا أَجْرَهُ، وَلا تُضِلَّنَا بَعْدَهُ
One of the most famous supplications for the deceased came after the passing away of the companion Abu Salama (rA). The Prophet ﷺ visited his beloved companion as he (rA) was on his deathbed. Seeing his eyes fixed on one spot, an indication that his soul had left his body, the Prophet closed Abu Salama’s eyes as per the prophetic tradition. Upon this, some of Abu Salama’s family started to wail and weep. In that moment, the Prophet advised them of the importance of making beneficial supplications, both for ourselves and our loved ones, saying,
Do not supplicate for yourself anything unless it is good, for the angels say “Amen” to whatever you say.
He ﷺ then made a beautiful supplication for Abu Salama, which you can repeat for your own loved ones,
اللَّهُمَ اغْفِرْ لأبي سَلَمَة وَارْفَعْ دَرَجَتَهُ فِي المَهْدِيِّينَ وَافْسَحْ لَهُ فِي قَبْرِهِ وَنَوِّرْ لَهُ فِيه وَاخْلُفْهُ فِي عَقِبِهِ فِي الغَابِرين
In this supplication, we can detect a deliberate sequence. First, we pray for the deceased’s ultimate destination by saying “raise his ranks among the rightly guided.” In recognizing the barzakh as a transitional phase toward their ultimate destination, we then ask Allah to widen their grave and put light in it. Finally, we conclude the formulation by praying for the continued guidance and piety of the deceased’s descendants as part of their persisting legacy on this earth and a source of reward for them in the afterlife.
While there is a well-organized sequence of prayers here, it’s important to remember that prayer for your loved ones doesn’t always have to follow a rigid structure. Alongside the prescribed formulations we have provided here, allow yourself the liberty to speak to Allah, the All-Hearing, directly from your heart. Offer earnest supplications in your own language and truthfulness of heart as though you were the one in desperation and in the most dire need for His divine intervention.
May Allah bestow His immeasurable mercy on all of our deceased and forgive us and them for our shortcomings.
For more see Episode 3 of the For Those Left Behind series, 'The Best Dua's for Them'.
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