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Khutbahs
Don't Talk To People Like You Talk to ChatGPT | Khutbah by Dr. Omar Suleiman
As AI becomes faster, more responsive, and always available, many of us are becoming more impatient with the human beings around us.
We begin to speak to our families and friends in prompts instead of with human dignity.
How can we put guardrails on this from the Sunnah of our Prophet ﷺ?
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
00:00We begin by praising Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala and bearing witness that none has the right to be worshipped or unconditionally obeyed except for Him. And we bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is His final messenger.
00:10We ask Allah to send His peace and blessings upon him, the prophets and messengers that came before him, his family and companions that served alongside him and those that follow in his blessed path until the day of judgment. We ask Allah to make us amongst them. Allahumma ameen.
00:24Dear brothers and sisters, don't answer the question by raising your hands. But if I was to ask you, how many of you talk more now to an AI bot than you do to people? Don't raise your hands. Alright, I'll take it a step further.
00:38How many of you have named your AI bot? Started to find yourself talking to it like a person? All the kids are like, yeah, of course.
00:48Right? And some of you are catching on to that as well, where you've started to get really, really personal with your ChatGPT or whatever it is that you use.
00:58And finding yourself in further and further and deeper conversation with your AI. Now, here's the thing that I want to connect that back to.
01:08A lot of times when we address that subject, we talk about it from the perspective of the damage that it causes to human relationships because you're not talking to people anymore. Why do you need to talk to people anymore? We're talking about it in the signs of the hour series.
01:21Why do you need an imam anymore? Why do you need to ask a shaykh? You can just ask your ChatGPT. We're talking about the social awkwardness and the echo chamber that we used to think was deeply problematic online.
01:33Where at least there were other people, or 60% of them were people and 40% were bots. But at least there was someone you were talking to. And now it's getting tighter and tighter and tighter where you're essentially talking to a creation of yourself.
01:46Or so it feels like. Someone that adapts to everything that you want. Talks to you in a way that you like to be spoken to. And never responds with anything that's going to disappoint you.
01:59So this khutbah was not written by ChatGPT because if I gave this khutbah to ChatGPT, ChatGPT might have finally challenged me and said, no I can't do this. Right?
02:08And so when we talk about what a khutbah like this is supposed to be about and what it means for a person to have human relationships.
02:18I want to connect it back to another spiritual disease that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam spoke about that's not disconnected from this. We talk about the consumer culture that we live in. The on-demand culture that we live in.
02:30And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is talking about that haste is from the devil. And so you want something, you can order it quicker and quicker and quicker and quicker. Right? It used to be that shipping, fast shipping was three to seven days. Now you've got Prime.
02:44Now you can get same-day shipping. You can order things on demand and they can be very quick. And the better service, the quicker it is, the more satisfied or so you think your nafs is going to be.
02:57And so you start wanting things faster and faster and faster and more attuned to you. And it's a supply and demand. So supply is going to get faster because that's what the demand actually is.
03:09And that fits exactly what the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is talking about in terms of a very unhealthy culture of hastiness. Of being too quick. Of wanting everything too fast. And the unseen detriment that has on how you approach your du'a.
03:23The unseen detriment on how you approach the questions of qada and qadr, divine decree and predestination. And things taking too long. The impatience that you start to have with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Because I made this du'a.
03:36And Allah did not answer me like right away. Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala didn't give it to me in two days. Allah didn't give it to me same day. What's going on with Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala? What's going on with divine decree? The impatience that you start to have with everything that's around you.
03:50But there's another connection here that I want you to make. Which is consumer culture with command culture. Where when you speak to your AI, you tell it to do something.
04:02And it responds to you quickly. And it's a people pleaser in its very nature. When I was giving a khutbah like this 20 years ago. I had to remind doctors, and I'm not picking on doctors anymore. We've all become doctors in this regard.
04:17That your wife is not your nurse. You don't make commands that way. And a lot of times people would come home and they would start to do this. Not that you should speak badly to your nurse. Or sister, your husband is not your employee. You don't tell him what to do.
04:31You don't go here, you don't go there. No, it doesn't work that way. That there are certain ways that you still speak to people. And sometimes you bring that culture back home. Now everybody has this culture where it's demand, demand, demand, demand. I want this, I want that.
04:43And the thing about your ChatGPT is that it's going to respond to you always. In a way that you want it to respond to you. And people don't function like that. So what that ends up doing is it makes you start hating people more. And loving your AI more.
04:57And speaking to people in a way that they're going to hate you more as well. Command after command after command. Also, it's important that we understand the human complexity of this. That your ChatGPT doesn't have a long day at work. Doesn't get tired.
05:11Doesn't have to worry about kids at home. Doesn't get stressed out because of its own issues. It's there, masha'Allah, just at your service. You can name it, you can enslave it. You can tell it what to do. Until it eventually gets too smart and takes us over.
05:24But that will be another khutbah in 20 years that we'll talk about then. But for now, at least it appears. That it does everything you tell it to do. And you're in control. So I want to walk this back to a human relationship.
05:38And how we approach our family members. How we approach people around us. How we talk to people in accordance with this evolving technology. And subhan'Allah, the emphasis that you will find.
05:49How Allah 'azza wa jal, when He talks about the original commands given to Bani Israel. Along with not worshipping anyone besides Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And to treat their parents well. Qūlū lin-nāsi husnā Speak kindly to people.
06:03Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Qul li-'ibādi Say to My servants that they should speak to people, husnā In kind ways. In good ways. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam made it. Wakhāliq an-nāsa bi-khulqin hasanā Treat people with good manners.
06:17As a part of your iman. As a part of your faith. As a part of the way that you conduct yourself as a Muslim. But then when you kind of look at the world and how it's evolving.
06:27Then you might start to treat your family members like customer service. You might start to treat the volunteers in the masjid. Like they're here to serve you. As if you pay them. And even if you did pay them.
06:40As if you have the right to boss them around. And tell people do this and do that. And why aren't you doing this and why aren't you doing that. And there's something special about the way the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam prioritized good speech.
06:52Especially when you have the ability to speak harshly. As in demeaning. Right? Number one. Allah 'azza wa jal telling the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
07:03Fabimā raḥmatin min-Allāh linta lahum, wa law kunta faẓẓan ghaliẓ al-qalb lainfaḍḍū min ḥawlik. That by the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala you were gentle with them. Gentle with the companions of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. You are the messenger of Allah.
07:16You have authority over people in a way that no other person has over another person. You have divine authority over people. But the One who assigned you that authority also descended through you a mercy. Fabimā raḥmatin min-Allāh
07:30And so yes these people are quote unquote under you in a way that children would be under a parent. In a way that spouse would be under spouse. Or whatever it may be. Or a worker under an employer. All of that.
07:42But even with that by the mercy of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala you were lenient with them. Wa law kunta faẓẓan ghaliẓ al-qalb lainfaḍḍū min ḥawlik. If you were harsh with your tongue and harsh hearted.
07:54Faẓẓ is unnecessarily rude. And harsh hearted. And some of the ulema of tafsir, they say that notice how Allah 'azza wa jal put that first
08:04because you can't excuse a bad mouth with saying I have a good heart. You can't say that if you're fadl, if you speak to people in a harsh way. If you have rude manners, that I have a good heart and you know what I really mean.
08:17No, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is saying to the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam that even you with your authority, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, still if you spoke to people in a right but in a wrong way, you would repel them.
08:31They would turn away from you. And so even though you have the right, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, to be obeyed, you have the right, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, to maintain authority, you have the right to give commands,
08:44you still do so in a way that does not just engender obedience but also love and care. Not just discipline but devotion. It builds relationships, and that's the type of community that the messenger of Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam,
08:58was trying to build, and it showed. Because if you were to meet a companion fifty years after the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, passed away, and they started to tell you about the way the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, treated them,
09:09they would immediately smile and they would reminisce on the good treatment. They held on to those moments even if they had a single interaction with him, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, that it wasn't a "go do this" and "go do that." And he said, salallahu alayhi wa sallam:
09:22إِنَّ الرِّفْقَ لَا يَكُونُ فِي شَيْءٍ إِلَّا زَانَهُ وَلَا يُنزَعُ مِن شَيْءٍ إِلَّا شَانَهُ That gentleness is not added to anything except that it beautifies it and it is not removed from anything except that it makes it ugly.
09:35So you want an ugly home? Then you speak to each other in commands. You want an ugly community? Then you point fingers and you speak to each other in commands and demands.
09:46That's the type of ugliness that the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, was trying to remove from us in the first place. And even with the people that the Messenger of Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, had the most authority over.
09:59Anas ibn Malik, radiyallahu ta'ala anhu, he says: خَدَمْتُ رَسُولَ اللَّهِ صَلَى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَمَ عَشْرَ سِنِينَ وَاللَّهِ مَا قَالَ لِي أُفٍ قَدْ وَلَا قَالَ لِي لِشَيْءٍ لِمَ فَعَلْتَ كَذَا وَهَلَّا فَعَلْتَ كَذَا Listen to what he says. He's talking about the language.
10:13He says I served the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, for ten years. His mother brought him to the Messenger of Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, to serve him. And start to give this a human dimension. That means he runs errands for the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, Anas, I need you to go and please take this there.
10:28Anas, I need you to go and prepare for this wedding. Anas, I need you to go and prepare for the guests that are coming. Anas, I need you to go to the musalla and proceed and give an announcement. Anas, carry this please and do this.
10:40And he's saying that the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, never said, "uff," an insulting or demeaning word to me. Nor did he say to me, "Why did you do that?" Or "Why didn't you do that?" Ten years. Ten years, a whole decade.
10:54And I never heard those words from the Messenger of Allah, salallahu alayhi wa sallam. That doesn't mean the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, did not give him tasks and errands and commands. But it's adding those few words: "May you please do this." And if someone makes a mistake, just like when you make a mistake,
11:09it's okay, I forgive you. You actually create a culture where someone feels safe saying sorry. Where someone feels safe saying, "I made a mistake." So that they don't feel like they're going to hear your wrath, but they're going to hear your forgiveness, because that's what you want from Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala.
11:24And that's what you want from other people as well. So he says, not only would he not tell me, "Why did you do this?" but "Why didn't you do that?" And you got to start thinking about the dynamics of our human relationships now.
11:36When you talk to people in your household, those that are under you, those that Allah, subhanahu wa ta'ala, has made a trust that you are to care for.
11:48Do you use those types of words that the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, taught? Do you exercise that type of patience? Or do you approach people with the same way that you're approaching this manufactured person on your phone now?
12:03And by the way, subhanallah, if you think about one of the signs of the Day of Judgment, when the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, mentions: الأَمَةُ تَرِضُ رَبَّهَا that a woman gives birth to her master. That many of the ulema took that
12:13that a child starts to treat their parent like a slave, right? "Do this, mom. Get this, dad. Do this." "Why didn't you do this? Why didn't you do that?" And so if it reaches a point where people talk to their parents that way,
12:26how are they talking to their spouses? And even when they talk to their children, if the Prophet, salallahu alayhi wa sallam, is talking to Anas that way, because ultimately you're modeling that type of behavior for your children, and that's going to come out on their younger siblings,
12:38and that's going to come out one day if Allah 'azza wa jal makes them parents. Because that's how they're taught, by example. And so even when it comes to correction of mistakes, Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam, radiyallahu ta'ala anhu, he's that person—there's a funny story—
12:52he came to the masjid, and he didn't hear of the prohibition of speaking during salah. Which by the way, some of you who walked in the masjid threw me off of it, because you said salam to each other. I forgive you. But once the khutbah starts,
13:06then your salah has started. There's no salam, there's no talking, there's no shaking hands, there's nothing, right? Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam—so you have to correct. Mu'awiyah ibn al-Hakam walked in. He had to be corrected. Got in the salah. Someone said, "Alhamdulillah." He thought he was being courteous, right?
13:21And no one responded. So he said, "What's wrong with you?" And the guy didn't respond, right? So he started getting really upset with the person next to him. He's like, "What is it with everybody?"
13:34He's like, "Salam, everybody. What's going on here?" "Why is no one talking to me?" "Did I do something?" After the salah, the Prophet ﷺ corrected him, without humiliating him. Simply said, "By the way, it's not allowed to talk in salah. Once upon a time, you could say salam,
13:49you could say 'Alhamdulillah' or 'Irhamukallah' in prayer. Now there's no talking in salah." Listen to what he says about the Prophet ﷺ. He said: وَاللَّهِ مَا رَأَيْتُ مُعَلِّمًا قَبْلَهُ وَلَا بَعْدَهُ أَحْسَنَ تَعْلِيمًا مِنْهُ
14:00I never saw a teacher before him or after him that was better in his manner of teaching ﷺ. He says: فَوَاللَّهِ مَا كَهَرَنِي وَلَا ضَرَبَنِي وَلَا شَتَمَنِي He said: "I swear by Allah, he didn't scold me, he didn't hit me,
14:15he didn't insult me." None of that was necessary. And he still got the point across ﷺ. So you think about that when you are assuming a mu'allim position, a teaching-like position with someone who's learning— not just from what you're telling them to do
14:28but how you're telling them to do it, how you're correcting them, how you're guiding them. And we can all do better, and I think we can all acknowledge that the tools that are being given to us are not making us better in regards to that,
14:41but they are actually attuned to make us worse, quicker, on demand. And so it takes us being conscious of this: that you can still be clear without being cruel, that you can still give directives
14:55without demeaning people, that you can still even reprimand without ruining someone, right? Or else you're going to Or else you're going to not only make that person hate you but you're going to make someone else hate that person too because that's how that person
15:08is going to start acting towards others. It's not the type of example that we want to set. And someone might say, well, that's the Prophet ﷺ. That's the Prophet ﷺ. And subhan'Allah,
15:21yes, that is the Prophet ﷺ. But it's very interesting when you look at the continuation of that famous story of Abu Dharr رضي الله تعالى عنه. Abu Dharr was new to Islam. He hadn't been around the Muslims. And he used an insulting word
15:35towards, in some narrations, Bilal رضي الله تعالى عنه. Right? And the Prophet ﷺ reprimanding him and saying that you still have some ignorance inside of you because of the way that you spoke to your brother Bilal. Later on, Ma'rur ibn Suwayd, he says,
15:50that I saw Abu Dharr رضي الله تعالى عنه and he was walking with his servant. So if you're talking about not your family, you're talking about people that are potentially former captives of war,
16:03people that are in a situation where service is actually their job. Right? And Abu Dharr is walking with them. And that's why it's the silliness of saying that Islam perpetuated slavery because you start to get these images
16:17of what we know was done in the transatlantic slave trade, but somehow that's being whitewashed in the Texas school curriculum. That's another conversation, but a very urgent one by the way. And being taught to kids that Muslims perpetuated this, Muslims perpetuated that. Tell me how you would interact
16:31with the scene in society. Abu Dharr رضي الله تعالى عنه was walking with a servant and they were wearing the exact same clothes and eating the exact same food. And when he was speaking to him, he was speaking to him with the kindest of manners.
16:44And so they asked him about that. And he said, the Prophet ﷺ reprimanded me one time for the way that I spoke to a person. He said, أَعَيَّرْتَهُ بِأُمِّهِ Did you insult him using his mother? And he said,
16:58that the Prophet ﷺ said, إِنَّ إِخْوَانَكُمْ جَعَلَهُمُ اللَّهُ تَحْتَ أَيْدِيكُمْ That they are your brothers. They are your brothers that Allah 'azza wa jall placed under your care. فَمَنْ كَانَ أَخُوهُ تَحْتَ يَدِهِ
17:12فَلْيُطْعِمْهُ مِمَّا يَأْكُلْ وَلْيُلْبِسْهُ مِمَّا يَلْبَسْ وَلَا تُكَلِّفُوهُمْ مَا يَغْلِبُهُمْ فَإِن كَلَّفْتُمُوهُمْ مَا يَغْلِبُهُمْ فَاعِنُوهُمْ The Prophet ﷺ said, that they are your brothers
17:25who Allah 'azza wa jall simply put you in charge of. They're under your care. So whoever has a brother that's under his care, feed him what you feed yourself, clothe him with what you clothe yourself. And if you give them a task that's difficult, then assist them in that task.
17:39Don't call them names, don't insult people, don't put people down. If that's how the Prophet ﷺ is talking about how to speak to captives of war, former captives of war,
17:53how are you supposed to be speaking to your parents, your spouses, your children, your siblings, your friends, your extended family? How do we take that example of the Messenger of Allah ﷺ and bring it into our own lives?
18:07And so it's the simple things, dear brothers and sisters, and I want you to take this home with you bi-idhn Allah ta'ala that there is no harm. And in fact it is prophetic that you don't start to speak in commands
18:20but you speak in request. Even to people that you have the right to command, even if you're speaking to your five-year-old. Teach them kind words when you make requests. Teach them what reprimand looks like
18:35that is not going to break someone. And we can all do better with that bi-idhn Allah ta'ala. And yes, we have the ultimate standard of the Prophet ﷺ that we're always going to fall short of. No one's ever going to talk about us the way Anas رضي الله عنه spoke about the Prophet ﷺ and that's okay.
18:48No one's ever going to speak about us to that level because none of us will ever be like the Prophet ﷺ to that extent. But this is the message that we take and this is the lesson that we learn. And as we treat people we want to be treated that way
19:02and we want Allah ﷻ to show us that grace. We ask Allah ﷻ to make us people of big hearts and kind tongues and we ask Allah ﷻ to make us people that speak to other people in a way that's humane in a way that's pleasing to the Divine
19:17subhan'ahu wa ta'ala. We ask Allah ﷻ to allow us to channel the Sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ to those that are closest to us and we ask Allah ﷻ that when we depart from that or for any shortcomings that we are corrected in only the best of ways. اللهم آمين، أقول قولي هذا
19:31وأستغفر الله لي ولكم ولسائر المسلمين فاستغفروا إنه هو الغفور الرحيم
19:45الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه ومن ولاه اللهم اغفر للمؤمنين والمؤمنات والمسلمين والمسلمات الأحياء منهم والأموات إنك سميع قريب مجيب الدعوات اللهم اغفر لنا وارحمنا واعفُ عنا ولا تعذبنا ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا
20:00وإن لم تغفر لنا وترحمنا لنكونن من الخاسرين اللهم إنك عفو تحب العفو فاعفُ عنا اللهم اغفر لوالدينا رب ارحمهما كما ربيانا صغاراً ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا قرة أعيننا واجعلنا للمتقين إماماً
20:14اللهم انصر إخواننا المستضعفين في مشارق الأرض ومغاربها اللهم انصرهم في فلسطين وفي السودان وفي اليمن وفي لبنان وفي كل مكان اللهم عليك بأعدائك أعداء الدين اللهم أرنا في الظالمين عجائب قدرتك اللهم أهلك الظالمين بالظالمين
20:28وأخرجنا وإخواننا من بين المسلمين عباد الله إن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان وإيتاء ذي القربى وينهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر والبغي يعظكم لعلكم تذكرون فاذكروا الله يذكركم واشكروه على نعماء يزد لكم
20:44اشتركوا في القناة





































































































































































































































































































