
Jump to:
Khutbahs
How To Fix Your Life | Khutbah by Dr. Omar Suleiman
What does it take to really fix a broken heart, relationship, and community?
Are we making du’a to Allah to fix our lives, while neglecting the actions He wants us to take because they are uncomfortable?
It’s easy to skip to the conclusion that your situation isn’t fixable. It’s more difficult, but honest, to remember that nothing fixes itself.
Dr. Omar Suleiman explains the power Allah has given us to work to fix our problems, while always trusting Him with the best outcome. And he reminds us of the true cost of leaving our relationships broken.
This transcript was auto-generated using AI and may contain misspellings.
00:00Dear brothers and sisters, in the famous hadith of the Prophet ﷺ, where he talks about the strangers, and he says, طوبى للغربى, glad tidings to the strangers.
00:12When the Messenger of Allah ﷺ describes who the strangers are, there are two narrations that are extremely similar. In one narration the Messenger of Allah ﷺ says,
00:25الَّذِينَ يُصْلِحُونَ مَا أَفْسَدَ النَّاسُ Those who fix what other people corrupted. Those who fix what other people corrupted from my Sunnah.
00:37So, basically corruption comes after the Messenger of Allah ﷺ, and eventually that corruption overtakes and reigns supreme.
00:48And those that will be strangers are those that will not only be able to withstand the pressure of the environment around them, but they will actually be amongst those that fix what has been corrupted.
01:01الَّذِينَ يُصْلِحُونَ مَا أَفْسَدَ النَّاسُ And in one narration, also authentic, the Prophet ﷺ said, الَّذِينَ يُصْلِحُونَ Those who are righteous, who are upright,
01:14when other people are corrupted. When other people have lost their way. And so it's very interesting when you think about the way that these two narrations work together. مَا أَفْسَدَ النَّاسُ وَإِذَا فَسَدَ النَّاسُ
01:29What people have corrupted and when people are corrupted, the strangers are those that take the initiative to fix what is broken. And that includes themselves.
01:41And there's this relationship with fixing things that I want to speak about today. And I want to be very clear that it's a little bit different from how we talk about, for example, أَعْمَالُ
01:54actions, and نِيَّة and the idea of intention. Intentions and actions. There's a relationship between intentions and deeds. إِنَّمَا الْأَعْمَالُ بِالنِّيَّاتِ As the Prophet ﷺ taught us, actions are by intentions,
02:08but the way you pursue those actions shows the sincerity and the depth of your intention. Right? Someone can say, you know, I intend to go to the masjid, but they don't really have the willpower behind that intention. There might be a little bit of sincerity there,
02:22that, yeah, I really intended to go to the masjid, but the very first excuse that I find, I'm just not feeling like it, never mind. Maybe my intention was sincere, but it didn't have enough steam to it. There wasn't enough عَزِيمَة There wasn't enough determination to fill that intention.
02:36So, not all intentions are the same. But there's a relationship between the intention and the deed. Likewise, when we talk about the concept of tawakkul in Islam, the concept of trusting Allah ﷻ,
02:50relying upon Allah ﷻ. There's a relationship between الْأَخْذِ بِالْأَسْبَابِ taking the means and relying upon Allah. That you taking the means is you doing your part, and then you rely upon Allah. So, when the Prophet ﷺ talks to us about
03:05the way the bird goes out in the morning and comes back with its stomach full. The bird spreads its wings, but Allah ﷻ يُمْسِكُهَا إِلَّا الرَّحْمَٰنُ Allah holds it in the air; Allah provides for the bird. But the bird leaves the nest. The bird goes and looks for the food;
03:20Allah provides the food. But this particular concept, and I only use these examples because they're more common analogies. I want to talk about the idea of fixing things. Fixing things, how do you fix broken relationships?
03:33How do you fix a broken heart? How do you fix a situation where you're not able to find your next pathway? You're not able to find what you're supposed to be doing? How do you find the balance between du'a and deeds?
03:47When things need repair, when things need to be fixed. And subhanAllah, I was reflecting on two ayat in the Qur'an that talk about two different situations, but the wording is almost identical
04:00and the equation is in fact identical. When Shu'ayb ﷺ speaks to his people, as a prophet speaks to his people, and he introduces the mission that he's bringing. He says,
04:12إِنْ أُرِيدُ إِلَّا الْإِصْلَاحَ مَا اسْتَطَعْتُ That all I want is to reform to the best of my ability. I'm here to fix things, I'm here to rectify things to the best of my ability. وَمَا تَوْفِيقِي إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ
04:26But my success will only come from Allah. My intention here is not to take anything from you. My intention here is not to win you over with some sort of ulterior motive. My intention here is reform.
04:40And subhanAllah, even the word itself, and this is what makes the language so rich in many ways, the word itself doesn't allow you to separate reform from righteousness. Because there is no real reform if it's separated from righteousness.
04:55So the root word of reform is the same root word as righteousness. Salah means to make something right. You can't make something right with the wrong intention or the wrong means. You can't even separate the two concepts. So I'm here to reform.
05:09This is genuine reform. And that genuine reform comes from a righteous place and engages in righteous means and seeks a righteous end. But it's to the best of my ability
05:21and my tawfiq, my success, will only come from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. So that's a prophet speaking to his people. Now, the next conversation that I'll introduce in the Qur'an
05:34is not a prophet speaking to his people, but a spouse speaking to a spouse, which might be the second most difficult type of conversation that exists in history, right? So there is the prophet that speaks to his people, but then there are husbands and wives
05:49that have issues between them. And we all know that unless both the husband and the wife want to fix things, it's not going to get fixed. There might be a temporary band-aid,
06:04but it doesn't actually get fixed unless both of them want it to be fixed. Otherwise, you'll buy yourself a week, you'll buy yourself a month, depending on which spouse is the one that's initiating. Right? So if it's the wife,
06:18she'll buy another year from her husband. But if the husband has already decided we're done, we're going to be done. And if the wife has already decided we're done, we're going to be done. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala says,
06:29إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا يُوَفِّقِ اللَّهُ بَيْنَهُمْ If they want it to be fixed, Allah will give tawfiq for it to be fixed. If they both want it to be fixed,
06:42Allah 'azza wa jalla will put in it the necessary tawfiq, the success of that repair. Subhan'Allah, look at the two ayat and how identical the equation is. Number one is irada,
06:55is that you want something. It's the equivalent of the niyyah, of the sincere intention. I actually want this. Right? Number two is the concept of islah.
07:09What are you seeking? Are you seeking a temporary band-aid? Are you seeking some more time so you can go get your court documents in order? Are you seeking some more time so that you could do this? No, no, I'm seeking islah. That's the second thing, the concept of righteous reform.
07:23Number three is the element of tawfiq. Allah is the one who gives success at the end of the day. And subhan'Allah, this is so interesting because what Shu'ayb 'alayhi as-salam is saying is that if your hearts are shut off
07:37and only Allah is muqallibal quloob, only Allah is the one who can turn the hearts right. If your hearts are shut off, no matter how bad I want to fix you, and no matter how bad I want to fix the situation, and no matter how good my da'wah is,
07:52my call will not work because Allah has to be the one to turn that heart that is turned away. So I have to want to turn your heart and you have to want for your heart to be turned.
08:06Because, فَلَمَّا زَاغُوا أَزَاغَ اللَّهُ قُلُوبَهُمْ When they turned away, Allah turned their hearts away. That means you're not worthy of Allah guiding you. So I have to want for your heart to be turned and you have to want for your heart to be turned. Then the tawfiq of Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala comes
08:20where my da'wah is successful and your salvation is possible because tawfiq now descended upon us. Likewise, when it comes to a couple that are trying to fix a relationship,
08:33you know that if one person is being dragged to counseling, it's not going to work. Someone's already decided, this counseling is not going to work. No one can tell me anything. I've already decided, you are irreparable or we are irreparable.
08:47And by the way, divorce is halal. That doesn't mean that we're not hasty to it. That doesn't mean that it's a good thing and especially the abundance of it because Shaytan seeks and teaches مَا يُفَرِّقُونَ بِهِ بَيْنَ الْمَرْءِ وَزَوْجِهِ
08:59how to tear couples apart. Sometimes it's the only resolution, but it is rushed to too frequently, especially when we have a society of ajala, of things being too quick. Everyone's too hasty with each other.
09:13No one's patient with each other anymore. So you know if one person is being dragged to counseling, it's not going to get fixed. But إِن يُرِيدَا إِصْلَاحًا If they both want to be fixed, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala sends down something. There's tawfiq.
09:28And I can tell you subhan'Allah, and masha'Allah, your shaykh, may Allah bless him and preserve him. He's been here for 26 years. Very rare by the way to see an imam stay with the community, stay the course with the community, and build and grow that community.
09:42We see it from the other side as well. Sometimes you see what seems to be a very minor disagreement and it falls apart. And sometimes you see a major obstacle and you're like there is no way these two are going to repair. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala repairs it. Just like when you walk into the hospital,
09:56I was subhan'Allah just in the hospital yesterday. You see someone who has a condition that you don't think is that big of a deal. And then they pass away. You see another person who the doctors have given up on and then Allah 'azza wa jalla miraculously cures that person. Right?
10:08But Allah is saying two people wanted to fix it. And they were sincere in wanting to fix it. So where's the tawfiq part here? Sometimes there's an apology that's due in a relationship. And let's actually broaden this
10:21beyond the marital relationship. And subhan'Allah, think about the 'aqidah implications, the tawhid implications of this. If you believe that this person is hopeless, then what does that say about what you believe about Allah?
10:36What happened to believing that Allah can change any situation? So you believe Allah can free Palestine but he can't change your spouse? Right? What are we actually saying here? He can't change your brother, your sister, this person
10:50who you've had such a difficult relationship with and you don't talk anymore, you haven't talked for two, three years. You're assuming that nothing changed about that person in two, three years. And there is no way we could ever reconcile because the obstacle between us is too much.
11:04You're not going to get tawfiq from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala that way. Nor is the solution for you to just sit there and make du'a. Solution is you gotta take the first step. So what's your part? Your part is the apology. But what is Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's part?
11:19What's the tawfiq? The tawfiq is changing a heart, allowing a heart to accept an apology. Allowing a heart to actually receive that, to reciprocate, to soften. SubhanAllah, sometimes the hardest hearts not only soften towards guidance,
11:33they soften towards reconciliation in a community. Two people that don't talk to each other for years. And Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, when the deeds are presented to Him every single Monday and Thursday, Allah 'azza wa jall says, أَنظِرُ هَذَيْنِ حَتَّى يَصْطَلِحَا
11:47I don't want to see these two deeds until they fix what's between themselves. They have to fix things. Then their deeds will become presentable. No, the solution is not for you to make du'a to Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala only to fix things. No, you've got to pick up the phone.
12:00You've got to be the one to break your own ego so that the relationship can be repaired and say, brother, let's meet. For the sake of Allah 'azza wa jall, let's get the community together. Let's get our family together. Let's make this happen. You do that part.
12:15Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does His part. And Allah 'azza wa jall, Al-Hadi, His names are so profound because His names actually have this in them. Al-Hadi can turn the most difficult heart back to Him. He's the guide.
12:30He can guide the most difficult heart. And so when someone saw 'Umar ibn al-Khattab radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu and thought 'Umar is irreparable. 'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu has no chance. The donkey of al-Khattab
12:43has a better chance of being guided than 'Umar. He made a mistake. Al-Hadi could guide the heart of 'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu because he's the guide. So that heart just has to be turned this way.
12:58Allah 'azza wa jall also has the name Al-Jabbar. And Al-Jabbar is the one who mends what is broken.
13:06And SubhanAllah, sometimes you do your part, you give that apology, you make that phone call, you text, you do what it is.
13:16Now Al-Jabbar mends the heart. Al-Jabbar mends the relationship that you thought was impossible to be mended.
13:25But you have to do what's possible for you before you ask Allah 'azza wa jall to do what seems impossible. You've got to take that step. That's the fixing part that comes before tawfiq, that comes before Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala
13:39renders something worthy of Him putting the last threads to mend it together. SubhanAllah, if you think about when we go to Al-Jabbar as ourselves, as broken people.
13:51And sometimes SubhanAllah, life hits you so many times that you feel like you don't have the motivation anymore. You don't have the motivation anymore. And 'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu, who believes in his du'a more than 'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu?
14:05'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu used to say that I do not care about Al-Ijabah. I don't concern myself with the answer when I make du'a. Because I know that if Allah 'azza wa jall inspired me to make the du'a, then Allah 'azza wa jall is going to answer the du'a.
14:19The same 'Umar radiAllahu ta'ala 'anhu said, لا يقعد أحدكم, not one of you sit and call upon Allah and say, رب ارزقني, رب ارزقني. My Lord provide for me, my Lord provide for me.
14:30When he knows أن السماء لا تمطر ذهبا ولا فضة. The sky doesn't rain gold and silver, brother. That's what 'Umar is saying. The sky does not rain gold and silver on you.
14:41So don't just sit there and pray and say, my Lord provide for me, my Lord provide for me. As if the sky is going to open up and rain gold and silver.
14:48No, you've got to take your steps and then the du'a, the supplication is what seals the deal. It's where then the success comes from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala.
15:00But you can fix what's in your control. Allah gave you that power and there is no true power except for His power. But in the process of you saying, لا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله.
15:14There is no strength, no power except in Allah 'azza wa jall. You're supposed to try to be Al-Mu'min Al-Qawi. And sometimes strength is the strength of still being able to go to work when nothing seems to be working.
15:25Sometimes strength is to squash your own ego. You know how strong you have to be to be able to swallow your ego? Like when the Prophet ﷺ gives us that visual,
15:36that that's a person who's strong, to control your emotions to actually bring that all down. Wrestling that ego is harder than wrestling anybody else. You wrestle that ego down and what happens?
15:48Allah 'azza wa jall opens up a door. Every time you try to fix something for His sake, Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala descends success in some way.
16:00That doesn't mean that the situation is always going to get resolved. But it always means that you're going to be rewarded. And that at least you can sleep at night knowing that you did your part. And more importantly, you can meet Allah 'azza wa jall on the Day of Judgment and say,
16:14I tried to fix these things, Ya Allah. I tried to fix these things. Even as a community. SubhanAllah, we talk about the individual, we talk about the family, we talk about these things.
16:23When the Prophet ﷺ and whose du'a is more accepted than the Messenger of Allah ﷺ asked Allah 'azza wa jall for three things. He asked Allah that Allah would protect us
16:34from an enemy that would wipe us off the face of the earth. These Islamophobes are not going anywhere but neither are we. They're not going to succeed. We're not afraid of them.
16:45People of Gaza don't fear the Zionists despite everything that they've employed on them. We can't fear the people that are around us and their intimidation when they're drunk and intoxicated by the hate and bigotry that they've been fed.
16:57But they're not going to wipe us out. The Prophet ﷺ was given that promise that this ummah will not be wiped out. This ummah is not going to be wiped out. AI is terrifying but robots are not going to take over the world and remove all the Muslims.
17:11There's a lot to be worried about there. But the Muslims are not going to disappear because an enemy will overcome the Muslims and remove them from the face of the earth. It's not happening. Because Allah 'azza wa jall gave that to the Prophet ﷺ. When the Prophet ﷺ made that du'a, he had a few hundred followers.
17:25Now he's got two billion. The second one is we're not going to be wiped out from a famine or a plague. You're going to see earthquakes and landslides and wildfires and all sorts of devastation and war and genocide.
17:38But this ummah will not be wiped out by a plague or an earthquake or a fire. Many people will go and may Allah 'azza wa jall accept them as martyrs. But that's not how we end.
17:51But the third du'a, أَلَّا يَجْعَلَ بَأْسَهُمْ بَيْنَهُمْ That their misfortune is not found in their internal disputes. Allah did not give the Prophet ﷺ that answer. He didn't give him a yes.
18:05Is it because Allah doesn't love the Prophet ﷺ? Of course He loves the Prophet ﷺ more than any creation. Is it because the Prophet ﷺ's du'a wasn't sincere enough? Like did he have to try harder? No.
18:17The thing is that Allah 'azza wa jall has put that as part of His equation for us that the external will be solved. But you've got to solve what's between yourselves.
18:28And how many times do those that wish to break us as a community observe us from within and without? I know there are informants in every masjid by the way. That's every masjid in Texas, every masjid.
18:41And now you can just do it through the devices, right? Like you can just watch. But the point is you think that they're not watching and waiting for every single thing to exploit, every fault line to exploit, right? Break apart the community and then go in and mow it.
18:54That's every single community in the world. That's been the strategy since the munafiqeen in Medina, the hypocrites in Medina with the Prophet ﷺ. Try to create a fault line, divide and then go in while they're fighting each other.
19:06Allah 'azza wa jall is saying your enemy won't overcome you. But you have to overcome what is between yourselves. You've got to fix that part. You'll be protected from the outside. You have to fix that part. And if you want to fix what's between you,
19:20Allah will give the tawfiq for your hearts to be in harmony with one another. But you have to want it. And again, you're going to have to break your egos in order to make it happen and see the bigger picture.
19:32You see, Subhanallah, we go to Allah عز و جل with our broken selves, like puzzle pieces. Broken selves, broken families, broken communities,
19:43broken ummah, broken pieces of this ummah. We say, Ya Jabbar, this is what we have. We call upon you trusting only you.
19:54I am going to put it all together as much as I possibly can, but I know that no one can actually finish it, mend it but you. I'm trying my best to fix it.
20:07Myself, my family, my relationship. I'm not using du'a to spiritually bypass the deed that you prescribed upon me. I'm coming to you because I know that at the end of the day,
20:20my deeds and my strength and my initiatives and everything else is only made possible by your tawfiq at the end of it. By you giving it success at the end of it. You see, the Prophet ﷺ would call upon Allah عز و جل
20:33like a man in complete desperation. But the Prophet ﷺ at the same time had complete certainty in Allah سبحانه وتعالى and did everything that was in his part. And so I'm going to walk this back Insha'Allah Ta'ala and conclude
20:47by just each and every single one of us thinking about this for a moment. It's convenient sometimes for us to just go ahead and resort to personal 'ibadah
20:59and think that we can pray away all of our problems or the wrongdoings that we have done or the relationships that we have broken. It doesn't work that way. It's insufficient.
21:12Because the same one that you are calling upon tells you to do certain things as you call upon him. And so we can't have that contradiction as we call upon Allah عز و جل. The same one that you have to be sincere for
21:26in order for your deeds to be accepted is the same one that you have to take the means towards as you place your trust in him is the same one that tells you to fix what's in your control
21:39so that his ultimate repair comes. And just think about the consequences. And this is really what it comes back down to. You know, when I find this tension, there's a remedy to an insincere intention. When I have an insincere intention,
21:53I have to remember who's worth doing things for in the first place. That's what the 'ulama mentioned. Right? لا يَعْرِفُ الخَالِقَ وَالخَلْقَ أَحَدٌ No one knows the Creator and the creation. وَثُمَّ يُؤْثِرُ مُعَامَلَةَ الخَلْقِ عَلَى الخَالِقِ
22:06And then prefers the creation to the Creator. I need to... Why would I do things for other people's eyes if I know that Allah is looking at me? I have to actually go back and ask myself that question until it's so illogical that it no longer motivates me.
22:20I'm doing things for the sake of Allah عز و جل meaning I'm doing things for the sight of Allah سبحانه وتعالى. I have to go back and think about what are the consequences? So what if people are impressed by me? What's that going to actually do for my life? So what if I get millions of followers? If I get millions of likes?
22:34If 200 people come up and say, Great job. What does that actually do for me? I have to actually remind myself of that. And I have to remind myself that Allah's sight is worth more than all of that. All of us in our individual capacities have to do that, right? Because riya hits every single one of us
22:48in our own capacities. When it comes to wanting to fix things, I have to think about the consequences of leaving them broken. And there are worldly consequences that we ignore.
23:01And there are afterlife consequences that we ignore even more. And so when the Prophet ﷺ said, Whoever has a mazlama, whoever has committed a wrongdoing against his brother, let him seek forgiveness from it now. Let him get out of it now,
23:15before he arrives at a day, when no dirham or dinar can save him. You can't seek forgiveness from people on the Day of Judgment anymore. Can't repair relationships. So you got to think about the afterlife. Then you got to think about here.
23:28So I say this in conclusion, by the way, to the brothers and sisters. Especially those that go through difficulties in their marriage. Especially those that have children. Your kids deserve that from you. Right?
23:42There are worldly consequences that you try your best to fix things. Again, there are sometimes resolutions that take place that Allah knows best. And sometimes we find ourselves
23:55after the door of regret. And you know what? After the door of regret, Allah عز و جل will take you when you're broken, and al-Tawwab will repair you, and accept your repentance, and turn towards you. But where there are still doors that are open,
24:08and things that you can still fix, that's where you have to take initiatives. May Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى allow us to fix what is in our lives, fix our families, fix our communities, fix our ummah, our humanity,
24:22our societies, all with His tawfiq. May Allah عز و جل forgive us for our shortcomings in regards to ourselves, and in regards to everyone else. Allahumma ameen. وَقُولُوا قَوْلًا سَدِيدًا وَاسْتَغْفِرُوا إِنَّهُ كَانَ غَفَّارًا
24:53الحمد لله والصلاة والسلام على رسول الله وعلى آله وصحبه ومن والاه اللهم اغفر للمؤمنين والمؤمنات والمسلمين والمسلمات الأحياء منهم والأموات إنك سميع قريب مجيب الدعوات اللهم اغفر لنا وارحمنا
25:07واعف عنا ولا تعذبنا ربنا ظلمنا أنفسنا وإن لم تغفر لنا وترحمنا لنكونن من الخاسرين اللهم إنك عفو كريم تحب العفو فاعفو عنا اللهم اغفر لوالدينا رب ارحمهما كما ربيانا صغارا ربنا هب لنا من أزواجنا وذرياتنا
25:21قرة أعين واجعلنا للمتقين إماما اللهم انصر إخواننا المستضعفين اللهم اغفر لهم في فلسطين وفي السودان وفي اليمن وفي كل مكان اللهم عليك بأعدائك معتدين
25:35اللهم أرنا بالظالمين عجائب قدرتك اللهم أهلك الظالمين بالظالمين وأخرج إخواننا من بينهم سالمين عباد الله، إن الله يأمر بالعدل والإحسان وإيتاء ذي القربى وينهى عن الفحشاء والمنكر والبغي يعظكم لعلكم تذكرون
25:49فاذكروا الله يذكركم واشكروه على نعمه يزد لكم ولذكر الله أكبر والله يعلم ما تصنعون وآخر دعوانا أن الحمد لله رب العالمين اشتركوا في القناة

















































































































































































































































































































