Name: How Can I Ever Trust Again? | Trauma Ep. 4
Uploaded: 2019-08-30T19:02:17.000Z
Channel: Sarah Sultan
Description: Betrayal is an intense emotion, and the trauma associated with it is twofold. In episode 4 of Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You, licensed mental health therapist Sarah Sultan explains the trauma associated with betrayal, how it develops, and a tip to overcome it. Read the full publication,...

<a href="https://yaqeeninstitute.org/series/trauma/">Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You</a><a href="https://yaqeeninstitute.org/sarah-sultan/how-can-i-ever-trust-again-navigating-betrayal/#.XWlumy2ZO8p">&quot;How Can I Ever Trust Again?&quot; Navigating Betrayal</a>

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A psychological and spiritual perspective on enduring emotional pain and suffering. This topic explores healing mechanisms found within Islamic traditions and modern psychology.

Trauma

Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You | Trauma Series Introduction

Why Do Bad Things Only Happen To Me? | Trauma Ep. 1

How to Cope with the New Zealand Mosque Shooting Tragedy | Trauma Special

I Should've Gotten Over It by Now | Trauma Ep. 2

Why Bother Living if the Future is Filled with Pain? | Trauma Ep. 3

How Can I Ever Trust Again? | Trauma Ep. 4

Why Does Allah Hate Me So Much? | Trauma Ep. 5

Addressing the Topic of Trauma and Faith - Sh. Omar Suleiman | ISNACON 2019

The Impact of Trauma on Faith - Sarah Sultan | ISNACON 2019

The Duha Approach: A New Model to Treat Trauma - Najwa Awad | ISNACON 2019

How Islam Addresses Grief - Dr. Altaf Husain | ISNACON 2019

Everything is Falling Apart | Trauma Ep. 6

The Impact of Grief on Faith - Sarah Sultan | ISNACON 2019

Understanding Traumatic Grief - Najwa Awad | ISNACON 2019

I Must Have Done Something Wrong - Is It My Fault? | Trauma Ep. 7

How Can I Ever Get Past This? | Trauma Ep. 8

Why is Everyone's Life Better than Mine? | Trauma Ep. 9

3 Reasons Why You Think the World Is Against You

Healing the Community | MASCON 2019

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Sarah Sultan

Written by licensed therapists Najwa Awad, LSCW-C and Sarah Sultan, LPC, LMHC, this series of articles and videos seeks to address trauma through The Duha Approach, a comprehensive and Islamically sound approach to treating trauma from a spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical perspective. Each article and video in the series will address one of the ten most common types of cognitive distortions, or unhealthy ways of thinking, linked to common faith-based questions that may arise after having experienced adversity. The primary purpose of this series is to provide a refuge and healing for those who have silently endured trauma, perhaps not fully understanding what is happening to them and not knowing how or where to get help. The articles will work through depressive feelings, worries, and doubts that may impact faith while helping promote growth and healing.

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How Can I Ever Trust Again?

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"Why Does Allah Hate Me?" Rescripting Negative Self-Talk

"How Can I Ever Trust Again?" Navigating Betrayal

"Why Bother Living if the Future is Filled with Pain?" Reclaiming Our Thoughts

How to Cope with the New Zealand Mosque Shooting Tragedy

"I Should've Gotten Over It by Now": Surviving the Impact of Grief on Faith

"Why Do Bad Things Always Happen to Me?" Breaking the Cycles of Negativity

Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You: Addressing the Impact of Trauma on Faith

Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You

 In the name of Allah, peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah, his family and companions.  As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh. This is Sara Sultan here with Yaqeen Institute.  And today I want to speak with you a little bit about one of the common thoughts that tend to come up  when we've been through something difficult, but particularly when we have struggled with a betrayal of trust.  And that thought is, how can I ever trust again?  When we go through a situation where somebody has hurt us or has betrayed our trust or has disappointed us really intensely,  the emotions that we feel can be so powerful that we can almost feel them physically.  A lot of times people describe being betrayed by somebody as feeling like you've been punched in the stomach.  That's how intense the emotions are when we feel like we've been betrayed by someone.  And what's really unique about a situation where we've been betrayed, the trauma of betrayal, is that it's twofold.  That first, we experience the situation where we suddenly realize that somebody that we have been vulnerable with,  somebody that we've tenderly placed our trust with, has lied to us and broken that trust.  And then the second part is that we suddenly realize that we have been duped, right?  That we've been fooled into being able to trust this person for such a long time, and then we suddenly realize that we've been lied to.  So we start to doubt that person, but we also start to doubt ourselves and wonder, how did I not pick up on the signs for so long?  What sometimes happens with the experience of betrayal is that it extends to a lot of different parts of our lives,  including our relationship with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la, where if somebody that you've trusted so deeply could betray you,  you wonder, can I ever trust again? Should I risk trusting again?  And we can even start to doubt, can I even trust Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la?  And that can be a very scary thought for a lot of us.  So why do these thoughts develop?  The struggle that we can sometimes have in even trusting Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la  falls under the umbrella of something called overgeneralization.  And this is a cognitive distortion.  Overgeneralization basically means basing our complete view of the world and people on one single event  or one single bad occurrence that happens in our lives.  So basically, it's the idea of carrying an umbrella with you because you've experienced one rainy day,  and you have this umbrella over your head constantly, right?  And so we're always expecting that because one person hurt us, that every single person will hurt us.  And we try to protect ourselves from feeling hurt and from feeling disappointed  by never allowing ourselves to trust a person in order to prevent ourselves from getting hurt.  And sometimes this can even extend to our fear of being disappointed even by Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la.  Realistically, we know that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la is so different from human beings,  completely different, incomparable.  But emotionally, it's a very different story.  So one thing that is important for us to be aware of when we're thinking about this thought is how it develops, right?  So for example, if you have a really good friend, and she hurts you, right,  where she said something bad about you behind your back,  then the thought trajectory that tends to happen is,  I've devoted so much to this relationship, and she's done this to me,  then I must not matter to her.  And if I don't matter to her, then I must not matter to anyone.  So what's the point of even investing in relationships if I don't matter anyway?  In order to be aware of the way our thought process develops,  one thing that I think is a really powerful reminder for all of us  is that a lot of times our relationship with everybody that we encounter,  but even our relationship with Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la,  can emulate our previous relationships.  So our relationship with Allah can often be like our relationships with people that we've experienced.  So if we assume that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la will hurt us,  even though we know that this is not true,  if we assume that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la will hurt us,  even though we know that this is not true,  then we assume that Allah Subh'anaHu Wa Ta-A'la will hurt us,  even though rationally we know that this is not true.  So one tip that I want to leave you with to consider  in order to try and overcome these overgeneralizations of thoughts  that we might experience is to ask ourselves,  is there any evidence that you could have?  What would you need? What evidence would you need  in order to see that this overgeneralization is not true?  And once you can determine, okay, what evidence do I need  in order to feel like I can actually trust someone, for example,  then ask yourself, does this evidence exist?  Does it already exist? Because it might be there, but we just don't see it.  And so with…

Trauma: Your Lord Has Not Forsaken You

Sarah Sultan

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